couples day...

So, I was all ok with the whole lack of a "special friend" idea yesterday. I worked early that morning and enjoyed talking to all the girls at work who had boyfriends or husbands and just lived my romantic life vicariously through them. It made me happy to know that there were men out there yesterday doing a good job showing the beautiful women in their life how much they love and appreciate them [which should be done more than just on V-day]. There is hope for the world of romantic fairy tales still.All was good until....Molly and I watched 'shall we dance' last night with Richard Gere. The movie itself was actually not good. I think I could go so far as to say it was a complete waste of time, especially considering the fact that I can only remember one good part in the whole movie. It was towards the end when he got romantic and sweet towards his wife. It was then that I began to get depressed and saddened by my singleness. Now I realize that it has been a choice of mine to be this way right now, so I really shouldn't be complaining...but sometimes I think it would sure be nice to get something sweet and thoughtful from a guy.So, I bought myself a V-day gift. I could even be considered a gift for my future husband. It has story...sort of. When I turned 13 my Dad gave me a necklace [gold] with a heart on it "He who holds the key can unlock my heart" is inscribed on it with a little space for a key. My Dad has the key, and any future possibility must ask my Dad for it when they want to 'pop the question'. I also used to have a "true love waits" ring [also gold]....but being that I never wear gold. Aside from my brothers wedding in Pakistan....where everyone wears gold cause they are all so nicely tanned that it actually looks good on them. So, to what I was saying...I bought myself a ring [SILVER]. It says "I am by beloved and He is mine" in Hebrew. I think its romantic, and special, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. It will be worn on my wedding finger until some guy some day can come up with something better to put there:o) I can't help it....i'm a helpless romantic.
my valentines

i am a lone reed....

As I sat here for the last 30 seconds figuring out what I am going to blog about today due to peer pressure, the line from "you've got mail" popped into my head [my title]. Lately I have been pondering the happenings of this past 7 months. There were days when I could definately see God leading my life and directing me. But now, I honestly wonder. Why would God open a huge door 6 months ago only to leave me sitting. I know there is a reason, but why? I have been wondering about his plans for my life past Pakistan. I have been going over the dreams that I believe God has given me and trying to figure out how I can make them happen. So much of what I want to do requires some serrious financial backing to get started. I'm trying not to limit God in that area, cause I know that its so small to Him, but my finite mind just can't seem to get around his leadings for me. God gave me a vision of a program 3 years ago. I have since talked to two other individuals who have the same passions, desires and ideas as me. The problem is -- we are just poor girls with a dream. The good thing -- we have God on our side.

Anyways....its February now. That means that if I got my visa tomorrow I would not make it to Pakistan till the begining of March. The school year there ends in May. What a waste, or at least it feels like a waste. Its all part of God plan right?? I'm trying to be open to staying another year, but I just want to get on with other things at the same time. It was no problem for me to commit to this year, considering I didn't have any plans, but next year I'd like to be moving more towards my life goals.

What should I do?
I'm open to suggestions.