Colossians 3:17

live intentionally.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Goodbye?

This afternoon I sat on the swings with one of the 7th grade girls and cried about having to say 'goodbye.'

One of the negative parts of being a TCK....having to say goodbye not just to people but to the world or culture that they live in.

This year for the students has been especially unique being that it is the first year back after the attack. Instead of things being more like a boarding school, the atmosphere is more like that of a really big family. Next year will be different. There will be about 20 more students, more staff, and the whole boarding set up will be completely different. So, when they leave in three days they will be saying goodbye to this family as they know it; and returning to a school community.

This 7th grade girl has every right to cry. To grieve. There is no point in telling her to look at the bright side, to enjoy what she has while she has it, to not dwell on this departure in 3 days. Everything she is feeling or concerned about is true. Next year will be different. Her friendships will change. Dynamics will not be what they were . She needs to be able to grieve in her own way, and not be told to bury it. She needs a hug; not advice.

How am I ever going to say goodbye to these girls?!

Monday, May 30, 2005

Every girl wants to feel Beautiful.

This weekend was the High School Formal. A time that is supposed to be fun and exciting. A time when every girl gets to dress up, paint their nails, put on mascara, have a million bobby pins stuck in their head...and feel BEAUTIFUL.
Sadly, though, this weekend wasn't one of those times. At least not for all the girls. For some, it was a day when they believed the lie of Satan, that they aren't beautiful, they aren't captivating, they aren't worth fighting for.
I watched a girl, who in my opinion looked stunning sit in the seat of the bus with tears in her eyes as they drove away for the evening. It didn't matter how many times I assured her that she was beautiful, she needed to hear it from a guy. This girl has captured my heart and on that night turned it to mush. She put the other girls ahead of herself and spent hours beforehand helping other get ready. Because of her selflessness she didn't very much time to put make-up on....to me, she was the most beautiful!

*****

Two weeks from now I will be on the beaches of a tropical Island...what more could I want??

*****

Anyone want to pay me lots of money this summer?

Monday, May 23, 2005

Now thats a REAL camping trip.

Ok, maybe not quite. If you erase the house that we called a rock cliff, the water tank that was a giant tree stump, the security guards that were...umm...not sure - a nousense to be sure as they would shine their torches on anyone that was hoping for privacy as they did their business in the bush.

But, we made a fire, ate campers stew and s'mores, laughed our heads off, told 'most embarrassing moments,' went pee in the bush, slept under the stars until it rained, froze our toes off, got very little sleep, cooked breakfast over the fire, drank hot chocolate, and had a nice hike home. That's what I call camping. And I loved every moment of it, even if I didn't get any sleep. The girls loved it too, some really surprised me in how much they enjoyed it. They were really in their element. Now they are talking about a 3-day really roughing it camping trip next year. We'll see.

And then I got spoiled.

After a quite shower, I packed my bags, had a meeting with the director, then made my way down the hill to my home away from home. I had a very nice and relaxing 'chill' weekend of hanging out with cool people and eating good food. In the brief time there I managed to hit all the good eating spots...the Marriot, Serena, and Arizona Grill. yummy. I think I will go starve myself now. Although I was able to weigh myself this weekend and found out (much to my surprise) I haven't gained any weight. I think its mostly just muscle converting to fat. But, either way, I weigh the same.

I went away this weekend in hopes of coming up with a more solid decision for next fall. I thought I was doing ok until Sunday morning when a lady approached me about working for her. Yeah, I don't like these life changing decisions so much. Any advice?

******

What do you do for someone who has showered you with generosity and won't even allow you to so much as buy them an ice cream cone in return??

Monday, May 16, 2005

That was not CAMPING.

5 movies in the course of 40 hours, sleeping on flee infested beds, food (and chai) cooked and served for you cannot possibly be classified as a camping trip.

It was a retreat...lets just make that clear.

A retreat with many little adventures that could only happen in this country and only with Jr. Highers.

Picture this -

21 Jr. Highers in a bus stuck under a bridge in the pouring down rain in a foot of sewage water with 30 million cars honking their horns and trying to drive past us while we try to back up. 3o minutes later, after unloading half the luggage off the roof we are escorted by the police to the center where we will be staying. So much for trying to keep a low profile. I think all of Jhelum knew we were there.

Then - Swimming with cows in a muddy (you don't want to know what else was in it) river with cows - Rescueing a 7th grader from drowning - Spending 20 minutes searching the water for her Shalvars (pants). After offering a 300 Ruppee reward the Shalvars are recovered, returned to the extremely embarrassed child, and sunbathing in the warmer shallow water ensued. I should note that...I don't like swimming in water where I can't see what I'm swimming with OR touching nasty, mungy, slimy, gooey, gross mud with my bare feet. Oh, what I suffer for these kids.:o)

The highlight of the weekend - PIZZA HUT!! 7 people + 2 Large Pizzas + Pepsi Refills = 1,100 Rupees....or something like $15.00 US Dollars.

Yeah....that's not camping...but it sure was good.

Life is good.


* * * * * *

I think I am having an identity crisis of sorts. As I am reading this book about TCK's I am realizing parts of my life that I had buried because it was a part of me that was so different from people that I knew. Now I feel as though I am grieving that loss.


* * * * * *

As I was thinking about school ending in the next couple of weeks, and returning to the US. I was extremely saddened. I love these kids. How can I possibly walk away and not return?

* * * * * *

I think someone should let Pakistan know the difference between Lobster and Shrimp.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Finally a picture. Its Rukie's 21st Birthday Party!! (May 1st) Posted by Hello

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

TCK

Stands for "Third Culture Kid." A term that is new to me, but the idea is all to familiar. Having been raised in a military family, I was never sure of where 'home' was. And even now, the house my family lives in is not home to me. I've begun to tell people that I haven't found home yet. Deep down, I wonder if I ever really will.

The context of a TCK here is a whole different arena. These are kids who's parents have chosen to come here. Most have even been born here, but for some reason their parents refer call 'home' this strange (somewhat foreign) country with all kinds of different customs. And then there is boarding...

Before now I have always disagreed with missionaries sending their kids to boarding school. I believe that our responsibility in ministry is FIRST to our families. If we can't handle that, why are we even trying to minister to other people? I just can't imagine what that does to a childs mind to be sent away for 10 months out of the year. I'm sure I would have come out a mess. I suppose God does give grace to those families....but isn't there a better way????

Anyways...today I am covering in the girls dorm. I think the older, more mature staff think I'm so irresponsible. I have been in trouble 4 times today for doing (or not doing) something I was supposed to do. Argh! I'll get the hang of it about the time school ends I think. Oh well.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

I'm so PROUD!

This past friday and saturday our school competed against 3 other International schools in Track and Field....and we ROCKED!! They struggled in the afternoons as the heat down here in Islamabad is quite intense compared to being up in the mountains. But, they pushed through and suffered and won. We won 1st place in all the age divisions for the boys, and I think 2nd place for two of the girls divisions. (we didn't have girls in all the age divisions) The boys I worked with on High Jump all finished well in their divisions...several 1st place, and in the oldest division we came in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Yeah, so I am so super proud. Not just because they won, but because they really perservered (sp?) and worked super hard for it, especially having put on an amazing play performance the week before. AND, they were good winners, so nice to all the other athletes and were sure to congratulate their comeptition on a job well done. These kids are amazing, I'm telling you. I've never met such a groupd of well-behaved, truly God-loving, friendly, sweet kids in my life. They are really teaching me a lot in the way they live out their faith in Christ.

Anyways...On a sorta sad note. I had some clothes made for me, some of the traditional dress here that I have to wear out and about...and oh, they turned out awful. They look like a terrible cross between a Mumu (sp?) and a hospital gown. Oh....its so terrible. Its bad enough that I have a terrible time picking out fabrics.

I'm also horribly sunburnt and grouchy now....so its just seems all the worse.

(sigh.)

keep the emails coming, i do check about once a week, i just haven't had the time or the patients to reply yet. the connections here are not so great and it can be quite a long ordeal. Love you you all!!
 
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